Blurp

So another miracle was visited upon me this week. I'm employed-- teaching. Teaching art. Teaching college-level art. A bloody miracle.

I'm happy, which is an understatement. I'm positively giddy. People see me this happy and they are confused. They ask, "Is this is a full-time gig?" "Is it permanent?" "Does it pays well?"

I respond to those questions in order with "No. I have no idea. And no." Which leads to an awkward moment where I feel I have to qualify my excitement in some way.

A better explanation of what I'm going through is to think that I've spent the past 3 and a half years waking up only to feel a little bit like I'm drowning, that I'm missing something. That I somehow failed to get my 'ducks-in-a-row.' And the doubts: the feeling that all the years I spent in college were wasted. And the rest of my life will be spent banging my head off a door that will never open.

A couple days ago that door popped open. Almost of its own accord. And now's my chance to make a break for it. I'm going to dive in, grab hold of what I can, clutch tight, and pray to God that it works out.



thank you.