Big Jonathan and the Shortcuts

This is one of the characters from yesterday's comic. Drawing him is fun so I decided to follow up with another brief adventure. His newfound superpower is the gift of flight, but since he's overweight and not very speedy, I gave him a gun to balance out the handicap.

Today was one of those days where I woke up extra early for no good reason. Unable to fall back asleep, I walked over to the grocery store to pick up some lunch and snacks. And who should I expect to run into at 6:30am on the way to the store? Today it was the Electric Grandmother, the one-man lo-fi electronic sitcom-nostalgia band. I must say, I was shocked. I actually asked, "You... Are you the Electric Grandmother?"

"Yes I am, lad," he struck a pose to prove his words.

"Well," I stood, mouth agape, "You look much taller on stage."

It was then that he did the most wonderous thing: The Electric Grandmother grew ten-stories tall, as if by some magic spell. I looked left and right for some other witness to this amazing spectacle, but I was alone.

"Wow, that's pretty neat," I suggested. A knowing grin on his face, the Grandmother tilted me a nod and walked on. I watched him dissappear over the horizon, gingerly stepping over townhouses and telephone wires. It was pretty cool.

At the grocery store I bought some yogurt, sphaghetti dinosaurs in tomato sauce, apples, bananas, pop tarts, cereal, and milk. At the self-checkout I eavesdropped on a woman throwing a fit because she had to check herself out. The attendants shrugged. They looked tired.

I always buy more from the store than I can carry, but I found a new shortcut in a wall adjacent to our apartment that kills some time. The gap is only two feet wide and about 30 feet long, but a skinny guy can traverse it. It's a gauntlet of cinderblocks, logs, aluminum cans, and an errant waterhose, with walls pressing in on both sides. Makes me feel like a deviant for skulking through it, but it's a great shortcut nonetheless.