It's time for another adventure, kiddies. I'd like an excuse to go investigate a mysterious sound, my flashlight dancing off the tombstones in a sinister place. A twig cracks underfoot-- but not my foot-- and now sure I'm not alone in this place.
Ironically, it's just
Reggie. My flashlight falls across his proud, beaming face and I feel like strangling him.
"You tryin' to give me a heart attack or something?!"
"Sorry, I had to run back to the car to get supplies."
"Oh, umm, good. I-- hey, wait. Where are the shovels?"
"Shovels? I thought you were joking about that." He shrugs, pulls out something small and plastic.
"Damn it, Reggie. Get it together man. And-- what are you doing there? What is that?"
"Fruit cup."
"....."
Unbelievable. I turn on my heel and walk away. My flashlight reveals tree branches ahead. I duck and make my way into the undergrowth. Progress through the tangled weeds is slow-going. After five minutes I'm out of breath and sweating. I stop for a moment to listen for Reggie, but there's no sound. Maybe he's gone back to sit in the car. Who knows? I turn around and jump out of my skin to find him standing in front of me.
"Stop that."
"Sorry."
We walk along for fifteen more minutes, finally coming out of the forest into a clearing. Voices can be heard nearby. I switch off the flashlight and crouch low. The undersides of the trees ahead are awash in the reflected glow of a fire. I grab Reggie and pull him onto the grass, "Get down, you dummy. I think this is it! We've found the cultists, and it looks like they're doing the ritual tonight. We'll have to keep our wits if we're going to stop them."
"Golly!" He splays out on the ground in an exaggerated attempt to look sneaky.
We crawl forward and hide behind a fallen tree. I risk a peek over the top to see the events beyond. And immediately stifle a cry. I fall back into cover, shuddering, near panic. It takes all my fortitude not to run screaming into the night. Those
things, those
terrible things. How? How are these things possible? I can't comprehend this evil, how could we ever begin to presume to defeat it?
It only took a glimpse. I saw them all there, all the villagers, dancing around the fire. Gibbering awful incantations to the nether gods. And the things they were doing. What
were they
doing? Writhing, morphing, taking on new, grotesque forms under those death masks. The impossibility of it blasted at my sanity, leaving me cold and despairing. I collapsed and wept aloud, sobbing into the grass. Oh, oh.. We have to get away. We have to run. Get back to the car. This evil is beyond us! We have to get away! Get away!
Reggie took in my reaction, and frowned in confusion. At first he suspected I had been struck down by a physical projectile, and then the truth settled in. His perplexed state changed to one of alarm. He started breathing harder and harder until I thought he was going to hyperventilate, his eyes never leaving me.
Abruptly, he jumped up, turned to the cultists, and yelled, "Hey! HEY! You guys gotta come here! Quick! I think there's something wrong with my friend! He's having a heart attack or somethin'!"
----------------------------
Two hours later
----------------------------
"Damn it, Reggie." I break the silence, slurring over a busted lip. He drives the car down an empty country road. We are both splattered in blood and slime.
"Sorry." He looks over at me apologetically, and tries to avoid seeing the place where my shirt was torn open. "That... hurt?"
"Yep." I stare ahead.
"So... was... uh, was that a shoggoth?" He gestures back the way we came.
"Yes, Reggie. Yes it was."
"Oh." He glances at the rearview mirror. "Well, at least it doesn't seem to be following us anymore. But sorry for, well, you know. I thought you were having a heart attack back there or something."
"Oh yeah? Or maybe I was just overcome by the eldritch horror? Or maybe some idiot who jumps up and lets all the cultists know where we are?!"
"Sorry... It looked like the shoggoth had eaten most of them though."
"Yeah, haha. I guess so. What was that you threw into the ritual circle anyway? I didn't see much because the stabbing knives were blocking my view."
"Fruit cup."
"Ahh... nice. Well, good work, Reggie."